Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
