watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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