Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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