Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm too high and old for this...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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