I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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