And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
