Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
