Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
