People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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