He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
