You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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