His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
