You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
