i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
