last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
