ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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