I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
