When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize