I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
