Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
