85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Two words: blizzard sex
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
