Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
