Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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