So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
