took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
