The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
