we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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