3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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