Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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