my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
