no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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