so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The uberlube is also flammable
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
