I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
