I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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