just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
What did we do last night that was yellow?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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