you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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