all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
