this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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