can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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