Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
