burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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