Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
