either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
