oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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