He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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