i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
