the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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