4 words: hood of his car
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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