whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
