youre lurking in front of me
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize