Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
