There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
