do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
