If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
