i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
