Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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