physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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