Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
