1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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