I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
