Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
