i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I love you.
Bad choice
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
