trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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