I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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